Not sure what’s come over me but for some reason I’m posting two vagina themed posts within the same couple of months? My apologies, but someone’s gotta talk about it, right?
Today we’re going to talk about PAP smears. Side note… Isn’t smear such an icky word? It’s about as cringe as “moist” is…
A PAP smear involves a doctor or gynecologist collecting a sample of cells from ones cervix to test of any abnormalities that may be indicative of cervical cancer. PAP tests are an important preventative measure for every sexually active woman, or woman over the age of 21. Studies have shown that those whose cervical cancer was found via PAP smear had a 92% cure rate compared to the 66% cure rate in women who detected their cervical cancer through symptoms. By remaining consistent with your PAP tests, you are increasing your chances of catching the disease at a much earlier, and more treatable stage. PAP tests are important, people!!
I know the thought of having a random person fiddle around in your vagina doesn’t sound awfully appealing, at the end of the day it’s 5 minutes of time to potentially save the rest of your life. Don’t skip your PAP. After completing your first test, you should be re-tested every 3 years, unless your doctor advises otherwise.
So, you’ve listened to me, and you’re heading into your first PAP smear. You’re going to spend the entire morning of prepping for it like you’re about to go sleep with the guy you’ve been seeing for the first time. You shower, SCRUB, trim your girl up, and dress her up. You get to the doctors office with the same nervous jitters that you get just before your man picks you up – you’re also slightly sweaty… which makes you sweat more because now you’re very aware that your gal is slightly moist now. I stress out honestly the entire morning before – even after having it done for the 4th time.
I’ll just walk you through the process, shall I? Now, obviously this is from my own experience, so it may be slightly different at your doctors office, though I’m sure the premise is still the same.
You’re given a gown to change into – if you’re getting a full physical then you will be asked to strip down completely, but if you’re just getting the PAP alone, you’ll just be asked to take your bottom half completely off. Then, you awkwardly sit in the doctors room, butt ass naked in your little gown while you wait (mentally prepare) for the doc to come back.
You’ll have to lay down on the bed, and usually your doctor will have a little poke and prod around your lower stomach to check for any inflammation around your uterus/ovaries. You will then have to pop your feet into some stirrups and let your knees drop out so your chicka is exposed to the elements.
First, whoever is performing the examination will do a manual pelvic exam – as in, he or she will glove up, lube up, and pop a couple of fingers up there and rummage around a little bit to make sure things feel ok from the inside. Then they will insert a little plastic device that is used solely to widen your vag so they can clearly see and swab your cervix. Then they will take a little flashlight and an overly long Q-tip and take a swab of your cervix, which feels incredibly odd given that it’s not an area that is generally scraped with a long stick…
It’s uncomfortable, but it doesn’t hurt.
Then that’s it. It’s done. Your swab will be sent off for testing and you will be notified of the results. It sounds like this huge ordeal (probably because I made it sound that way), and you’ve probably worked it up to be this huge thing, but it really isn’t. It’s over and done with within 5 minutes… if that. You’ll spend the majority of it staring at the ceiling tiles, counting how many there are on the ceiling, pretending that your vagina isn’t actually attached to your body and that is isn’t really happening. But it will be over before you know it.
I should also add that you are well within your rights to ask for a female to be in the room with you during the examination, even if your doctor/gyno is a female. My doctor is male and I request a female in the room every. single. time. not only for my safety, but for his too.
As much as you want to skip this exam, I really urge you not too. You could be saving your own life by getting one simple, quick test. Just because you’re young, doesn’t mean you’re safe from cervical cancer – it can still happen yo you!
But, I will give you a little word of warning that may also give you a little peace of mind. About 1.5 years ago, I had an abnormal result from a PAP smear. One thing my doctor made sure I was aware of of was that I shouldn’t be nervous about it. As a young woman our bodies are changing and sometimes this means that there can be abnormal readings from a test. So don’t panic if you get an abnormal reading! Your doctor will let you know how to proceed for a retest to make sure that everything is good! Every retest I’ve had since then has been normal and now I’m back to being tested every 3 years.